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万一你不来-零零贰贰肆(今天你是第二百二十四次没来)
With days of hard travail I raised a temple. It had no doors or windows, its walls were thickly built with massive stones.
I forgot all else, I shunned all the world, I gazed in rapt contemplation at the image I had set upon the altar.
It was always night inside, and lit by the lamps of perfumed oil.
The ceaseless smoke of incense wound my heart in its heavy coils.
Sleepless, I carved on the walls fantastic figures in mazy bewildering lines--winged horses, flowers with human faces, woman with limbs like serpents.
No passage was left anywhere through which could enter the song of birds, the murmur of leaves or hum of the busy village.
The only sound that echoed in its dark dome was that of incantations which I chanted.
My mind became keen and still like a pointed flame, my senses swooned in ecstasy.
I knew not how time passed till the thunderstone had struck the temple, and a pain stung me through the heart.
The lamp looked pale and ashamed; the carvings on the walls, like chained dreams, stared meaningless in the light as they fain hide themselves.
I looked at the image on the altar. I saw it smiling and alive with the living touch of God. The night I had imprisoned had spread its wings and vanished.
自闭症
几天劳苦,我盖起一座庙宇
这里没有门窗,只有厚石垒起的壁垣
我终于可以忘掉一切,躲避世界俗乾
我可以注目凝视安放在龛里的神仙
庙宇里永远是黑夜
我可以用香油的灯盏来照悥
不断袅袅的香烟在心头缭绕、螺旋
彻夜难以入眠的我可以围观墙上的乱影
扭曲的线条在墙上刻画出一些奇异的图案
生翼的马、人面的花、四肢像蛇的女人,诸般
我不在任何地方留下一丝透路
没有任何鸟的歌声、叶的细语、或村镇的喧嚣得以进言
在沉黑穹顶,唯一的声音是我礼赞的回响
我的心思变得强烈而镇定,像一个尖尖的火焰
我的感官在这乱影的狂欢中昏晕,不知如何渡过漫长时间
直到巨雷震劈了这座庙宇,一阵剧痛刺穿我的心坛
灯火在阳光下显得如此苍白无力,墙上的影像是被锁住的梦魇
无意义地瞪视和躲藏起来的心绪就是龛里的泥偶
此刻,我看见它微笑、复活、离去
被我囚禁的黑夜也展翅飞远
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