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万一你不来-零零贰叁柒(今天你是第二百三十七次没来)
She dwelt on the hillside by the edge of a maize-field, near the spring that flows in laughing rills through the solemn shadows of ancient trees. The women came there to fill their jars, and travellers would sit there to rest and talk. She worked and dreamed daily to the tune of the bubbling stream.
One evening the stranger came down from the cloud-hidden peak; his locks were tangled like drowsy snakes. We asked in wonder, "Who are you?" He answered not but sat by the garrulous stream and silently gazed at the hut where she dwelt. Our hearts quaked in fear and we came back home when it was night.
Next morning when the women came to fetch water at the spring by the deodar trees, they found the doors open in her hut, but her voice was gone and where was her smiling face? The empty jar lay on the floor and her lamp had burnt itself our in the corner. No one knew where she had fled to before it was morning--and the stranger had gone.
In the month of May the sun grew strong and the snow melted, and we sat by the spring and wept. We wondered in our mind, "Is there a spring in the land where she has gone and where she can fill her vessel in these hot thirsty days?" And we asked each other in dismay, "Is there a land beyond these hills where we live?"
It was a summer night; the breeze blew from the south; and I sat in her deserted room where the lamp stood still unlit. When suddenly from before my eyes the hills vanished like curtains drawn aside. "Ah, it is she who comes. How are you, my child? Are you happy? But where can you shelter under this open sky? And, alas, our spring is not here to allay your thirst."
"Here is the same sky," she said, "only free from the fencing hills, --this is the same stream grown into a plain." "Everything is here," I sighed, "only we are not." She smiled sadly and said, "You are in my heart." I woke up and heard the babbling of the stream and the rustling of the deodars at night.
想念
她住在玉米地边的山畔,靠近那流经古树庇佑之荫的弹泉
女人们提罐到这里装水,过客们在这里谈话休闲
她每天随着咕咕作响的泉韵劳作、幻想、诉言
直到有一天傍晚,一个陌生人从云中山下来,他的头发像醉蛇一样的纷乱
我们惊愕地问他是谁?
他沉默地坐在喧闹的水边,望着她的茅屋没有语言
我们被吓得心跳,纷纷回家,因为已经夜半
第二天早晨,女人们再到树下的泉边取水
她们发现她茅屋的门开着,空罐立在地上
屋角的灯,油尽火灭
她的声音没有,她微笑的脸不见
没有人晓得在黎明之前,她跑到哪里去,那个陌生人也不见
转眼到了五月天
阳光渐强,冰雪化尽,我们坐在泉边泪连
我们心里想:她去的地方有泉水么?在这炎热焦渴的季节,她能到哪里才有水源?
我们惶恐对问:在我们住的山外还有别的地方可安?
夏天的夜里,微风从南
我坐在她的空屋里,没有再点过的灯,仍在那里立站
忽然间,那座山峰像帘幕拉开一样从我眼前消迹
那是她来了,我们急切问喧
你好么,我的孩子?
你快乐么?
可怜的你啊,我们的泉水不能远到,供你解渴
在无遮的天空下,你可有地方荫倦?
在那边,还是同样的天空,只是不受屏山的遮拦
还是那股流泉,变成江河;也还是那片土地,伸广变成平原
一切的一切都在,我不记得缺少哪般
我叹息说:只有我们不在
她含愁地笑着说:你们是在我的心里
当我醒起听见泉流潺潺
杉树的叶子在夜中沙沙地作响
这一切的一切,原来都只是想、念
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